Poles apart: From PhDs to Pirouettes

Dudes, I just got confirmation that there is a female Burmilla kitten available end of June from my local breeder.  Cute or what?

So, the last year of lessons must have been doing me some good right?  Apart from all the insane aerial stuff (and associated fallings-on-head) I've improved a few old moves to.

You  may, or more likely not, remember my pole move nemesis, the monkey.  Now, I laugh in the face of the monkey.  Sometimes.  But well enough at least to be able to take two vaguely competant looking pictures.

A faster and more difficult spin to photograph is the sunwheel.  I tried, and you'll just have to imagine the speed.  Oh, and see that hand waving about in the air?  That's a one handed sunwheel, that is </smug>.

One of the things I have definitely enjoyed about moving to Australia is the shoes.  Not an obvious link, I know, but the combination of low living costs, low tax and high pay means I have myself a new addiction.  So, feast your eyes on my purchases of the last month: working shoes, flat shoes and of course new pole shoes. 

The pole shoes are the most awesome thing ever (apart from the colour which I'll admit is not exactly my style).  They're like a trainer encased in a hard plastic shell with a stiletto heel attached.  In simple terms, they increase grip, increase protection of your foot and are so comfortable and stable, you wouldn't know you were wearing heels.  All this added goodness in the shoe department has lead to some awesome new tricks which were previously impossible, but you'll have to wait for next time for proof of those :)

...I haven't blogged adequately to tell everyone I emmigrated to Australia, that it is an awesome place, I am 'doing' my job awesomely well and that I am lucky enough to have found an awesome Australian to spend my life with.

For the purposes of clarity, I can state that everything is awesome.

For anyone who has never completed Duke Nukem 3D on the Sega Saturn with all the toilets in the game destroyed, Snowblind Studios have conveniently released the classic game "Death Tank" for the Xbox360.  Whilst the natty (and yet intelligible) theme tune has disappeared, it's been replaced by a giant flaming skull.  It supports only 4 players locally, but up to 8 for Xbox Live games.  Now, I've never had a Live subscription, but if anything was going to convince me, it'd be Death Tank.

So come on - download Death Tank from the marketplace, get online and let me practice my virtical Mirvs on you.  Handily, the time difference between the UK and Australia reduces by one hour this weekend to +10 BST, and the weekend after that will be only 9.  So really, there's no excuse.  Unless you don't have an XBox.  In which case, go out and buy one, then buy Death Tank and subscribe to Xbox Live and play with me. 

Death Tank!  Monkey spank!  My tank is the red tank!

...but over 3 meters is pretty damn good if you ask me.  So, in comparrison to the previous entry re the Jo Pole, I proudly present to you photographic evidence of Jo's pole.  Ta daaaa!   And before you ask, yes, it does go through the ceiling fan blades but at least now they can be dusted. (If you can't see the picture, check out the instructions)

Whilst doing some checking on Google today to see if I existed there or not, I came across this page and it made me laugh.

Hahahahahaha!  Ridiculous!

As I'd previously posted on the ridiculous weather we were enduring in Melbourne, it would be remiss of me not to mention the current events.

Last Saturday, Melbourne experienced its hottest day since records started in the 1850's - over 46°C (the exact number changes depending on where in Melbourne the measurement was taken).  Not only was it blisteringly hot, but there were gale force winds too.  It was so very bizarre, being blown around in the front garden and feeling like I was stood inside an oven.  As a result, across the state of Victoria (which is about the same size as the UK) there are now 32 bushfires with over 100 people dead. There's a cached version of the on-demand bushfire web app here which shows the fires in the last 24 hours.  Anyone who is still having trouble grasping the enormity of this should check the close-up maps of Churchill and Kinglake.

[edit: The speed at which this happened meant that media crews couldn't get out to the fires for footage.  Most pictures are coming from survivors, and so only now, a week and a half after the event are some of the most amazing photos being released.]

People have lost everything except for the clothes they're wearing.  Whole communities have been wiped out.  It's not just one or two houses near the edge of the bush, it's whole towns.  People have been burnt to death in cars after trying to escape, the smoke making it impossible to see felled trees blocking the roads and other vehicles meeting the same fate.  I don't know how much of this news will make it across to the UK (as I suspect that sometimes Australia could be taken over by demonic bunnies and the northern hemisphere wouldn't hear about it) but this is really a horrific turn of events which not only has implications for the poor people in the proximity of the fires but also for Victoria's ever dwindling water supplies.

This is a public service announcement of the weather forecast in Melbourne. 

Today - 41°C  Tomorrow - 43°C The day after that - 40°C The weekend - 40°C

This week is looking to be the hottest in Melbourne for 100 years (linky).  I know if you're reading this up in the cold hemisphere (where the saucepan constellation is more commonly referred to as Orion - but don't get me started on Australian astronomy) you'll probably be wrapped up in 3 jumpers and under 5 blankets thinking "oh boo hoo, you poor thing" (and to be fairly honest, that's a big part of the reason behind this post), but 40°C+ temperatures are actually a bit silly. 

To illustrate my point in a sciency way, I googled some facts on the human body in extreme heat.  I am not sure I have found any conclusive evidence, but I did find this one article.  Apparently at 42°C the body proteins start coagulating.  This is fair enough, as I guess the internal temperature of the body shouldn't be as high as the external air temperature.  Then, at 101°C your blood would start boiling.  Nice.  But the maximum heat withstood by a dressed body is 260°C, so I suppose I should just stop complaining and be thankful that I'm not about to spontaneously combust. 

Also I've just had the biggest case of blog déjà vu...

[edit: Wednesday hit 43°C... Thursday was 43°C and Friday the same... ]

News, everyone!

For those of you who didn't know, I've been living in Australia for the last 8 months. During that time, some good things have happened and some sucky things have happened. One of the good things would be having a pole over 3 metres long in my house. Another good thing would be 6 months of pole lessons.

I've really wanted to pole-blog again, especially when I inflicted new and interesting injuries on myself (for example, ripping off a mole or landing on my head) but there have been a couple of administrative problems. Thankfully, they've now been solved, so I can natter away to my heart's content.

Most previous videos and pictures are now hosted on Flickr - to be able to access them you'll need to be added to my profile as a friend. It's free and it's hardly brain surgery, plus it's where all my future multimedia content will end up. Please let me know if you come across any dead links and I'll try to fix them.

In the mean time, I hope you all had a lovely festive season and a happy new year!

Dudes!

In trying to unlock my phone so I have a temporary handset to use on my travels before I get a new shiny one, I have inadvertently erased my contacts list.   Whoops.

I'm not sure what disappoints me more - my failure in the unlocking or that it didn't go wrong better - I've heard of people's displays going upside down and the menu language  being locked to French.  Some people have all the luck!

So, 2 days until I leave and 3 days until I arrive.   I still don't think it's sunk in.  

Following the success of my pole-disposal via ebay, I am now selling my digital piano (Trying not on ebay first, due to the extortionate listing rates).

Mmmmn, shiny rosewood piano...

Anyone want to buy my old pole?

(And failing that, watch this space for a piano!)

Oi! Pay attention!

I have handed in my 2 month notice at work. My last day will be the 28th March. I will be leaving London on the 30th March. I will be leaving the country on 12th April.

So, anyone wishing to go for coffee, drinks, food or just hang out needs to be in London before then - I am accepting bookings!

Hehehehehehehehhe.