On the virtues of being shallow
For a very long time, I considered myself a deep and thoughtful person. I relished meaningful conversation and sought out people I could chat to about philosophy, politics, sociology - anything that asked probing questions about the nature of existence, humanity and the state of the world. I looked for meaning and integrity in every human relationship and took a dim view of those who didn't do likewise.
As I grow up, I'm becoming more convinced that this attitude is unhealthy, unrealistic and ultimately a way of compensating for the fact that I'm ridiculously bad at talking to strangers. Beeing "deep" was just a way to make myself feel important and justify the poor quality of social contact in my life. Not that meaningful relationships are bad, of course. But superficial ones needn't be scoffed at. It's an incredibly difficult thing to construe depth and meaning in every little interaction. Life is far too short to craft substance into each word, each glance, each smile, each kiss.
So I'm making an effort to catch up on the shallow world I've segregated myself from for so long. I'm brushing up on my small talk, watching "meaningless" TV shows, practicing the art of flirting, learning to accept that I can be judgemental and mean and that that's allowed. I'm hitting the gym, wearing more designer clothes and enjoying the glow of narcissism. I'm exploring a more relaxed approach to my love life and reducing my emotional expectations of others.
These changes are liberating. I feel I've been living my life in a way that felt right for the wrong reasons. It's true that there's no silver bullet when it comes to wellbeing and happiness but it's important to realise when a balance needs to be restored. I have a deeper side to me but I don't want it to become me. I felt comfortable in that niche for a long time - like it made me better than these shallow guys on the pull every weekend. But that's bollocks, really.
It took a reasonable amount of personal suffering to come to these conclusions but being plucked from an old comfort zone has brought about some changes I think needed to be made. Personal realisations which were obvious all along, once I stopped hiding from them.
I suppose the real difficulty in all of this is being sure of who you are and what you want out of life. And, at the age of 22, I feel like I still have some way to go before I'll be secure in my identity. All of this life-changes stuff could just be a coping mechanism for dealing with rejection. It's true that rejection triggered these changes so it might well be the case. But a little experimentation isn't such a bad thing. We'll see..!
Well done to anyone who's managed to read so far through so much self-indulgant deliberation. I've posted this psycho rant in a bid to encourage people to scrutinise themselves and work out what they really want from life. Give shallowness a try. Live for today and balls to tomorrow :-)
As I grow up, I'm becoming more convinced that this attitude is unhealthy, unrealistic and ultimately a way of compensating for the fact that I'm ridiculously bad at talking to strangers. Beeing "deep" was just a way to make myself feel important and justify the poor quality of social contact in my life. Not that meaningful relationships are bad, of course. But superficial ones needn't be scoffed at. It's an incredibly difficult thing to construe depth and meaning in every little interaction. Life is far too short to craft substance into each word, each glance, each smile, each kiss.
So I'm making an effort to catch up on the shallow world I've segregated myself from for so long. I'm brushing up on my small talk, watching "meaningless" TV shows, practicing the art of flirting, learning to accept that I can be judgemental and mean and that that's allowed. I'm hitting the gym, wearing more designer clothes and enjoying the glow of narcissism. I'm exploring a more relaxed approach to my love life and reducing my emotional expectations of others.
These changes are liberating. I feel I've been living my life in a way that felt right for the wrong reasons. It's true that there's no silver bullet when it comes to wellbeing and happiness but it's important to realise when a balance needs to be restored. I have a deeper side to me but I don't want it to become me. I felt comfortable in that niche for a long time - like it made me better than these shallow guys on the pull every weekend. But that's bollocks, really.
It took a reasonable amount of personal suffering to come to these conclusions but being plucked from an old comfort zone has brought about some changes I think needed to be made. Personal realisations which were obvious all along, once I stopped hiding from them.
I suppose the real difficulty in all of this is being sure of who you are and what you want out of life. And, at the age of 22, I feel like I still have some way to go before I'll be secure in my identity. All of this life-changes stuff could just be a coping mechanism for dealing with rejection. It's true that rejection triggered these changes so it might well be the case. But a little experimentation isn't such a bad thing. We'll see..!
Well done to anyone who's managed to read so far through so much self-indulgant deliberation. I've posted this psycho rant in a bid to encourage people to scrutinise themselves and work out what they really want from life. Give shallowness a try. Live for today and balls to tomorrow :-)
[ Entry posted at: Sat 27 Oct 2007 00:09:07 UTC | 2 comment(s)... | Cat: Philosophical ]
Kat writes:
You know, I never knew you were like that :) Let's hear it for being shallow though \o/ it's liberating.
[ Sat 27 Oct 2007 15:26:37 UTC ]
Dez writes:
You realise by analysing your shallowness in that much detail that you've just demonstrated that you can't actually be shallow, don't you? :-)
[ Mon 29 Oct 2007 09:30:35 UTC ]