Who watches the Wedgeman?

A Banned List

(Apologies for you seeing this twice. The SUCS blog system is a bit borken at the moment. It refuses to admit that I've posted an entry called 'A Banned List' and so won't let me edit or delete it. Curses.) It has come to my attention that some people have decided that the bandwagon is the place to be. This is rarely the case. I propose an immediate outlawing of the following silly and annoying phrases (I will tolerate them on MW because I have little choice but in the real world, I will use sarcasm, other similar techniques and, in extreme cases, irony to make you feel small.):

*When someone says "I think x was stupid", do not immediately retort with "*you’re* stupid". This is like being in a playground. A playground for all the stupid kids who were too stupid to go in the proper playground.

*In a similar vein, when someone says "X is terribly poor", don’t go on to say "your mum’s terribly poor". This is even worse, it’s the sort of thing that a person would have to be completely out of their senses to appreciate.

*Continuing along this increasingly inane line, we have the Yakov Smirnoff ’in Soviet Russia’ joke. Do not, under any circumstances (and this particularly applies to Andy) respond to "I was doing my laundry" with "In Soviet Russia, your laundry does you". It’s nonsensical and not funny any more.

*Don’t look for puns that simply aren’t there. For example: "I can’t do up these knots, it’s very tying". Izumi-style stuff is best avoided altogether.  In fact, puns of all sorts should generally be frowned on; punning, like miming, is one of the lowest forms of communication. 

I’m sure there are numerous other things that get to me and will eventually provoke a violent outburst of some kind which will leave hundreds dead and others really, really sad at the loss of their loved ones. Enough procrastination for now, I say, it’s time to drown in a mountain of mixed metaphors. Or something equally silly.

[ Entry posted at: Fri 24 Feb 2006 20:44:32 UTC | 1 comment(s)... | Cat: Rant ]

talyn256 writes:

I'll go get you a towel, dude. I have the feeling you're about to discover how King Cnut felt on that fateful day.

[ Fri 24 Feb 2006 22:11:01 UTC ]

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