Poles apart: From PhDs to Pirouettes

Anyone want to buy my old pole?

(And failing that, watch this space for a piano!)

Last week, a very heavy mysterious box arrived at my flat. I opened said mysterious box, and inside found three smaller boxes. On the outside of these three smaller boxes was an ominous warning. Having read and suitably disregarded said ominous warning, I found the box contained a series of tubes.

Following the assembly of what has to be the world's heaviest jigsaw puzzle, my room now has the perfect accessory.

Now, not only are my muscles all rubbish and out of practice, but this pole has two modes: static and spinning, or as I like to refer to is, static and "DEATHMODE!". As soon as I'm brave enough to attempt something entirely stupid in "DEATHMODE!", I'll post you the video. In the mean time, hurrah! I can break myself in the physical again!

Well good evening.

So, having gotten back from my holiday (after a bout of food poisoning) I find myself working ridiculous hours at the office.  Somehow this has made me optimise my time at home (not quite enough to reply to any emails though) and I've tidied my room to almost Jo-specifications of cleanliness.  

Lunchtime today I was able to pop out to a well-known hardware store and buy a stud finder for £4.99 (which came with a free lightbulb) and a battery for £2.99 (came with another free lightbulb).  What a bargain.  Almost.  It was such an effective stud finder that I came home and was very quickly able to scan my ceiling for joists.   

Then I slipped and fell on the internet and spent £160 on a new pole.  Grumble grumble stud finder grumble grumble.  

Well hello.

This month, I am mostly very stressed and excited. Stressed, because amongst other things, I am moving out of my flat. Excited, because amongst other things I am moving out of my flat and will be going somewhere with lower ceilings and so can fit a pole. HURRAH!

Of course, in preparation for my no-doubt bruise-ridden return to my favourite pastime, I was perusing the intarweb, and found this. (WARNING!  Possibly not work-safe!  I recommend you go to the front page and check out the video.) Sigh, it makes me so happy to think I can start dancing again soon. Plus, how cool is that? It's like an ultimate mix of geekery and pole dancing!

In more boring (by comparison) news, I've updated my work map, having visited the exotic heights of Dover, Hatfield, Solihull and Nuernberg. Honestly, it's like a non-stop party over here! ;)

This week I decided that enough was enough, and it was high time I had some pole action to write about on my blog, so I headed to an open class near the Barbican.  It was a great class, a nice supportive atmosphere and some very talented ladies there pulling off all sorts of insane moves.

Unfortunately,  in the six months that I've been away from poling, my muscles have disappeared.  I am now once again covered in bruises and burns, and frustrated that my body wouldn't do what I told it to.  Grrrr!  Still, excellent fun, I'll be going back there for sure next time I want some punishment.

Ah ha! Another spectacularly good week at work. And also not at work. But I digress, otherwise I could be here all day talking about Australians and tequilla (worth noting that whilst the Australians weren't my fault, the tequilla most certainly was).

Anyways, pole news. I was looking at studios a while earlier and it transpires that the old studio I used to go to has relocated - or at least the school has relocated and the studio is still there. So I'm not sure where I'd go for lessons when I decide I could do with some more, *but* the studio is now hired out on an hourly basis to whoever wants it. It's not the cheapest option in the world, but it's certainly an option for me to go and use it whilst I get back into practice and if I can't install a podium anywhere.

Hehehehehehe.

Well, my carpet has been given a chance to recover over the weekend, as I took the pole down whilst my mother came to visit.  Last night, Andy helped me put it back up again, which gave me the chance to practise going upside down without my face exploding.

I remembered to breathe this time, which means that I've not gotten any crazy markings on my face.  A few friction burns on my shoulders and legs, but that's all par for the course really ;)

I also managed to dismount from the inverted position in heels without dying.  There's a video as proof here.  One of the main problems I have with getting back on the floor is when you're in this position, it becomes very hard to work out which way is up, which way is down, and whether or not fighting gravity is a good thing.  I think I might need to strengthen my stomach/shoulder muscles a little and work on my back flexibility.  It is a fairly scary manoeuvre, especially in  6 inch stilleto heels (but then again, what isn't scary in 6 inch heels?)

++Busy week PhD-wise, hopefully will update later in the week....

Hahahahahahahaha!

Good morning all.  Last night I attempted (and suceeded) my first ever hanging-upside-down-only-using-my-legs move on the pole.  It probably has a name, but I've no idea what.  The photographic evidence can be seen here.  I think it looks rather cool, even if I do say so myself.

Alas, not everything went to plan.  The dismount is still slightly problematic - I can't work out where the best place to put my hands on the floor is.  But worse than that, I got my most impressive injury yet.  Ten minutes after I'd stopped, I looked in the mirror and saw that my face was covered with red dots.  I look like someone's flicked red paint over my face.  In a bizarre way it looks quite cool, but really not ideal for this week, when my appearance is more important than at other times.  But I digress.  Judge for yourself here.  The doctor says it's a characteristic of being strangled and so it's possible I wasn't breathing enough, but they should go through the usual colours of bruises and then hopefully disappear.  Hehehehe, I can't be that annoyed about them though, it was a great move :)

Okay, so I don't really have much to say today, but I've got some videos to add.  Oh, did I mention banging my head on the ceiling last week after climbing my pole too energetically?  Well, if I didn't then it happened, and if I did, then ignore me. 

Speaking of climbing the pole, I have some proof: here.  It might not look like much of an acheivement, but it is 2.3m tall and made of shiny.  Anyone wishing to attempt it themselves in 6 inch stilletto shoes is quite welcome to try.  Although my shoes seem to have gotten a little damaged in the process, I'm going to have to duct tape them up (heavens, I'm turning into Will!)

The second video this week is of a straight leg cradle, a variation on the cradle I put up last week.  Hang on, I'm lying, I never got round to linking that video.  Ok, so here's both of them, for anyone interested this is the move that caused all the ridiculous bruising on the back of my right leg: here and here.

And the last video is a backwards spin which I've shown before, but the major difference is this time I'm in shoes and not boots.  Because of the various frictions caused by skin and or leather, it's taken me a while to be able to get this right again, so I thought it was worth celebrating: here.

Of course nothing ever goes entirely to plan and there a couple of outtake videos waiting for some company before I next post them.  Hehehehehehehehe.  Lots of work to do this weekend, perhaps a little poling but not much.  Maybe.  Oh, if you insist...

Last night I had a little accident with some rum.  Well, actually, it was vodka and wine and baileys, not technically rum.  (Note: mixing cocktails in a water filter is probably never a good idea)  Anyway, there was lots of silly fun had, and for some mysterious reason I said something about an Abba magazine, which made everyone collaspse into giggles, but noone can remember what I was trying to say or how it  was related to anything else. 

Anyway, apart from that entirely random point, there are a couple of amusing videos.  The first was taken months ago, the night the pole was first put up.  Thanks to Jason, Daveb and his brother Pete, we invented the maypole game.  It's harder than it looks, especially when drinking.  Quite silly with an inevitable conclusion...  here.  And the second comes from last night, as proof that sometimes things don't go entirely to plan: here.  Hahahahaha!  I do have some lurverly bruises, but alas the photos just don't do them justice.

Well, that's all the pole news for now.  Hehehehehehehehhehe. 

I suddenly realised that I didn't have any pictures on my blog of the various injuries I've inflicted upon myself avec le pole.  (But I am le tired! So take le nap! </internet_joke_digression>) 

This has rather cunningly coincided with a nice array of bruises on the back of my right knee, caused whilst trying to perfect (or at least improve) my cradle.  I don't generally bruise easily but I do bruise often, I hope these ones go a nice shade of blue and yellow :)  So the pic is here and yes, my cradle is now very fast and all sorts of fun.  I'll try and video it over the weekend.

Right, back to the PhD - lots of fun with the test machine today.  And I mean real fun, not imaginary.  Hahahahahaha.

This morning I switched from pole dancing in knee-high boots to ridiculous perspex platform 6 inch stillettos.  Boots are generally recommended for beginners as they give you a bit more protection against burns and bruises, but I was beginning to feel that mine were a bit too big and clumpy and wouldn't match various outfits. 

I didn't do myself too much damage in the new shoes, but there's certainly a difference.  I can't jump as high when I pull myself up the pole, although that's probably a bit to do with nerves.  The seated positions that require my ankles to be wrapped around the pole are now a lot easier, and I feel like I have more control in gripping with them.  However, my backward spin has suffered.  I guess I was used to the leather providing a bit less friction than my skin, now I'm gripping too tight and not going anywhere.  Hahaha, it looks ridiculous.  I'm glad I've made the switch for now, I think I look a bit more the part.  Shame about the skill deficit, eh?

Still, I guess it's just going to be a little practice to get it all back again.  Oh, and this week I've mastered the last of the moves from the DVD I rented a few weeks ago, the cradle.  I'm sure if I could see myself it wouldn't look quite right yet, but I seem to have stopped bruising the back of my right knee for now, and can manage both the straight and bent leg versions.  I'll post some pictures when I get a chance, but I assure you they won't look that impressive! :) 

After a miserable day in the lab yesterday, I cooked dinner for Bash and Andy and somehow managed to do a wrist seat split on m'pole.  The evidence can be found here (nice sideways view) and here (possibly looks more indecent than it is).  This morning I am covered with bruises in all sorts of places and a bit achey, but hurrah!  I did it :)

Now enough of all this frivolity.  I have more thesis to write... Yawn.

*Or at least I was last night.  This morning I cut  my legs whilst shaving and managed to bleed on every available surface in my flat.  Invincible people probably don't do that.

Phew, it's hot. 

So yesterday I took the day off (well, almost.  I did make some datasets but that hardly counts as *real* work), which was fun and not fun at the same time.

I got to do lots of good things, like playing with the 2p machines on Mumbles pier, pressure washing my car, walking along the coastal path, swimming in the sea and of course, some pole dancing.  I had Andy for company for most of the day and as such, there are some new pole pictures and videos. 

First we have 3 static(ish) moves, that is, there's no spinning involved.  I just jump up and slide down. There's the crucifix, and then two different seated positions.  Then, as I seem to have not posted videos of them before, there's a video of a forward spin and backward spin.  It was another hot day yesterday, so I don't think I was quite on top form pole-wise and slipping all over the place.  But still, was fun :)

I think I really need to take more time off.  I only felt like I was winding down by the end of the day when I was floating in the sea.  So I'm hoping, perhaps next weekend to take 2 days off in a row.  And spend them laying in the sun and the sea.  Sigh.  Would be lovely.

Anyway, no such luck for now, onwards, ever onwards with Chen's thesis draft.  Tally ho!

Just a quick entry today as I've got 101 things to do.  I've been out of the lab for the last 2 days helping out at a trade show in Cardiff.  Strangely enough, I was handing out oranges and being generally charming as can be seen here. It was very tiring work and my feet still ache, but I met some nice people (and some dubious but lovely doctors).  I couldn't work in promotions all the time due to the fact I have a brain and need constant cerebral stimulation, not just men in suits telling me I had nice legs.  Eugh, shudder.  Still, forevermore when I see an orange I will think of Ping Wales, "for the juciest IT news" :)

By the time I got home last night I was seriously seriously knackered.  Unfortunately, my brain, having been filled with red bull, didn't quite agree and so I was in a bizarre state of hyper tiredness.  For some reason that escapes me right now, I ended up playing on the pole for a bit.  Maybe it was carrying around baskets of oranges for two days strengthening my arms, maybe it was the red bull effect, but I managed the monkey.  FINALLY!  Ok, so it's not very good, and it's not quite perfect technique-wise yet, but it's almost there.  To help everyone understand what I'm on about, I've uploaded a couple of videos made with my mobile.  Very low quality (the video and the dancing) but the monkey is here and the chair is here(should work with quicktime player skill) There isn't any audio, so don't think your encoders are busted.

But that's all for now.  I had a flash of inspiration for my PhD when I was waking up this morning, so I've plenty to do. 

Toodle pip!