Awkward's Humour and Sillies

How To Catch A Lion In The Sahrah Desert

The Method Of Inversive Geometry:
We place a spherical cage in the desert and enter it. We then perform
an inverse operation with respect to the cage. The lion is then inside
the cage and we are outside.

The Set Theoretic Method:
We observe that the desert is a separable space. It therefore contains
an enumerable dense set of points from which can be extracted a sequence
having the lion as the limit. We then approach the lion stealthily along
this sequence bearing with us suitable equipment.

Topological Method:
We observe that the lion has at least the connectivity of the torus.
We transport the desert into four-space. It is then possible to carry
out such a deformation that the lion can be returned to 3-space in a
knotted condition. He is then helpless.

The Dirac Method:
We observe that wild lions are ipso facto not observable in the Sahara
desert. Consequently, if there are any lions in Sahara, then they are
tame. The capture of a tame lion is left as an exercise for the reader.

The Thermodynamic Method:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which is permeable to everything
except lions and sweep it across the desert.

The Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment there is a positive probability that there is a
lion in the cage. Sit down and wait.

Heisenberg Method:
You will disturb the Lion when you observe it before capturing. So Keep
your eyes closed.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. The relative velocity
makes the lion run faster and hence it feels heavier and gets tired.

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Last updated 25/11/2000 at 19:34