Why does Monica Lewinsky have such puffy cheeks?
--She's withholding evidence.
What does Bill tell Hillary after sex?
--Nothing, she hears about it on the evening news!
Did you know Monica has a hearing problem?
--All Bill really said was, "hold my calls and sack the cook."
What's Monica going to title her memoirs?
--"How to suckseed in the Oval Office without really trying!"
Monica wouldn't have soiled her dress if she would have just kept her mouth shut.
Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
--To keep his ankles warm.
What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
--A screwdriver turns in screws and Clinton screws interns.
Why does Monica refuse to play golf with Bill?
--Because she's tired of his balls hitting her in the face.
Bill was recently overheard complimenting Monica's appearance.
--"She's got the whitest teeth I've ever cum across!"
What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?
--When we want some dick in the White House, we just vote.
What's Bill's new pick up line?
--"Would you be interested in a position under the president?"
What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
--Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
From a recent survey...
--In a survey of over 500 women, when asked if they would make love
to the president, 83 percent of them responded; "Never again."
Asked if he had any regrets about his affair with Lewinsky, Clinton's
reply was - "Not really. I just wish I hadn't splashed out on that
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