| ANALOG: | Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts. |
|---|---|
| BACKUP: | Opposite of go forward |
| BATCH PROCESSING: | Making a lot of cookies at once |
| BINARY: | Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes |
| BIT: | 12-1/2 cents |
| BRANCH: | If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer club) |
| BUFFER: | Programmer who works in the nude |
| BUG: | 1. Programmer's term for a feature. |
| BUG: | 2. An elusive creature living in a program which makes it incorrect. |
| Note: The activity of "debugging" or removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed | |
| CHARACTER DENSITY: | The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space |
| COMPUTER: | A device designed to speed and automate errors |
| COMPUTER CLUB: | Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages |
| CODING: | An addictive drug |
| COMPILE: | A heap of decomposing vegetable matter |
| COMPILER: | Noah Webster (1758-1843) |
| CONSOLE: | What one does to a "down" computer |
| CURSOR: | An expert in 4-letter words |
| DUMP: | A system programmer's work area |
| FEATURE: | Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative |
| HARDWARE: | The parts of a computer which can be kicked |
| KEYBOARD: | An instrument used for entering errors into a system |
| LANGUAGE: | A system of organizing and defining error messages |
| LOOP: | See loop |
| MACHINE-INDEPENDENT PROGRAM: | A program which will not run on any machine |
| MICROCOMPUTER: | One millionth of a computer |
| NULL STRING: | The result of a 4-hour database search |
| ONLINE: | The idea that a human should always be accessible |
| PASSWORD: | The nonsense word taped to your terminal |
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Contact me at cmckenna@sucs.swan.ac.uk