Awkward's Humour and Sillies

MS Cars

The Top-14 ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars.

• A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.
• Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.
• You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more seats.
• You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a sec, it's that way NOW!
• Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
• The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
• People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.
• We would still be waiting on the "6000 sux 58'" model to come out.
• We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas™.
• Lee Iacocca would be hired on as Bill G.'s chauffeur.
• The US government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.
• New seats will force everyone to have the same size ass.
• Ford, General Motors and Chrysler would all be complaining because Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.

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  Contact me at cmckenna@sucs.swan.ac.uk

  Last updated 22/06/2000 at 19:08