BOOM BANG CRACKLE Crackle crackle (fireworks shoot up into the air and expolode.)
INTRODUCING the greatest and most powerful new chip out of INTEL's™ Microporcessor Labs: The Potato™ Chip.
Finally, with much fanfare, the newest upgrade to the best selling Pentium™ processor is released. The Potato™ Chip uses the latest in biochemical and electonic engineering. This newly developed organic microprocessor outshines the previous generation.
The Potato™ Chip has 100% more speed, 100% more memory, 1/10th the heat generation and 100000% more starch then the traditional 200Mhz PentiumPro™ Chip.
The new Potato™ Chip will soon be available in several flavors: Standard for the genaric PC, Barbique for those engineers and scientists who need an extra kick, Cajun for secretaries so that the engineers can drool over it, sour- cream and onions for the very low end user, and Low Sodium for the laptop market.
Soon a modified version of the Potato™ Chip will be released for the Very High End Computing sector. The new chip will be used in powerful parallel and supercomputer systems. The chip will have a slightly modified shape, color, and will be stackable. This project is code named Pringles™.
Intel™ is beating out Motorola™ by two months for its own new chip: The Tortilla™ Chip. Industry insiders believe that the marketing hype for the Tortilla™ chip is overblown. Motorola's™ new chip is just too late and too underpowered compared to the Intel processor. In addition, the Tortilla™ is completely incompatible with the Potato™ Chip and is based upon a very different technology.
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