I make the world seem sunny,
or so people say to me.
Is this true? I have no reason to doubt
But oh if I could make me feel that way
Do they not see my lonliness?
Do they not see my hurt?

I have a job, I have a car,
but what really do these things mean?
What can they mean when you are alone?
Longing for comfort and companionship
the kind only another heart can bring.
Where is the romance my soul desires?

12:43, a perfectly normal time,
on a perfectly normal day?
Probably so, but this doesn't ease the pain
When you go home to nobody
nobody to welcome you back to them
as you sink into their loving arms?

All around me are pairs,
couples in love, couples in devotion
Where are the ones like me?
Ones who are quietly passed over,
in favour of more attractive mates
How do I stop this hurt?

Where is my soul mate?
The one longing for me, as I long for them?
Is there such a one? one for me?
How do I know where they wait?
How do I know if they wait?
How do I know even that they are?

The sunniness is deceptive
a facade accepted and observed
A solid, happy, carefree face to the world
behind is the truth, the deep and painful truth
Rejected once, not tried again
needing to feel companionship once more

Am I truly alone? Alone for ever?
Destined to live my life alone,
alone for my remaining days?
12:58, minutes have passed
each minute alone,
each minute in pain...

Chris McKenna

25/04/2003 12:43 - 13:00
In work at lunchtime, having
packed up for an office move.
Just been reading works by
Alex (Keychain) on OpenFiction.com
The title of the poem is obviously
when I started writing it. I put this
at the top of the page to note when
I started, and it just seemed an
apropriate title

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Copyright © Chris Mckenna 2003.

Published here 28/04/2003