UNIX Shells

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People have been playing around with Unix shells and have come up with a few gems. Note that the '%' prompt indicates the C shell, while the '$' prompt indicates the Bourne shell. Go ahead and try some. These really do work! Honest...!

 

% scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^J^D

"Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found

 

% ar m God

ar: God does not exist

 

% "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?

Unmatched".

 

% ^How did the sex change^operation go?

Modifier failed.

 

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?

Too many ('s.

 

% make love

Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

 

% sleep with me

bad character

 

% got a light?

No match.

 

% man: why did you get a divorce?

man:: Too many arguments.

 

% ^What is saccharine?

Bad substitute.

 

% %blow

%blow: No such job.

 

% cat 'the can of tuna'

cat: cannot open the can of tuna

 

$ mkdir matter; cat>matter

matter: cannot create

 

$ drink <bottle; opener

bottle: cannot open

opener: not found