FOOT-OS: A Guide to Modern Operating Systems

Previous or Next

This was inspired by the recent file making its rounds on the Net describing how to shoot yourself in the foot in a variety of programming languages. Now, the madness is extended to operating systems:

• Unix:
  You shoot yourself in the foot.
   
• DOS:
  You keep running up against the one-bullet barrier.
   
• MS-Windows:
  The gun blows up in your hand.
  
• Windows NT:
  The gun is so huge and unwieldy that you have to keep swapping it from one hand to the other.
  
• OS/2:
  The gun and the bullet aren't speaking to each other any more.
  
• Mac Finder:
  It's easy to shoot yourself in the foot -- just point and shoot.
  
• AIX:
  You can shoot yourself in the foot with either a .38 or a .45.
  
• IRIX:
  The Terminator shoots you in the foot. A T-Rex bites your other foot.
  
• SVR4:
  The gun isn't compatible with your foot.
  
• Minix:
  You learn how to shoot yourself in the foot with a Saturday Night Special.
  
• Linux:
  Generous programmers from around the world all join forces to help you shoot yourself in the foot for free.
  
• HURD:
  You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot Real Soon Now.
  
• VM/CMS:
  IBM shoots you in the foot.
  
• VMS:
  \FOOT\ ambiguous: supply more toes.
  
• AMIGA-DOS:
  The gun works pretty well, except that few people use one and it's impossible to find bullets.
  
• Mach:
  The bullets work pretty well, but they don't make guns for it any more.
  
• Cray:
  You shoot yourself in the foot with an Uzi.
  
• MasPar:
  You shoot all of your friends' feet simultaneously.
  

 by Jeremy Elson (jelson@condor.cs.jhu.edu)