Background History

***DISCLAIMER*** This is my version of the events that happened and may not be totally accurate, or even anything like how everyone else remembers them. It all started with an unusual holiday, where we found our first lemon - MAMSAK. MAMSAK was named after his (or her or its) original owners by first initial (Some still say it should be MAMSAC, but I'm sticking with the traditional spelling...). MAMSAK was lost by his owners after a stage-diving incident on the last night of the holiday. While clearing up after the event, I found a battered old lemon upon which someone had drawn a smiley face. I showed this find to my friends, one of which knew the group of people who originally owned MAMSAK, and thus could immediately recognise him. So we took MAMSAK back to our tents, and brought out the camping stove. After having fun setting fire to MAMSAK, we had a change of heart and decided to return MAMSAK to his rightful owners. Who promptly executed him with a minbus. That was over three years ago now. On every holiday since, we have taken items of citrus fruit and executed them in interesting and diverse ways, normally involving torture. In cronological order, they were: MAMSAK Jnr (a lemon) and Jose (a lime) were lost in the wilderness of the campsite. NAMWIE (the true successor to MAMSAK, and a lime) was impailed on a tent pole, carved with a blunt knife, and then drowned in the lake. The Kiwi Fruit tribe were punished for not being citrus. The first kiwi was treated like a tent peg - Hammered! - and the second attempted to play baseball, with messy consequences as you can guess. The rest were devoured by a pack of ravenous animals (us)! We are not certain to this day whether the grapefruit (Hilary) survived the ordeal... Or, for an alternative version of these events, see the alternative history., written by another witness to the crimes commited against citrus-kind - Lou Twells.